Pensive, Doubting, Fearful Heart

As I have written previously, I continue to dig deep into my collection of music, and not surprisingly, old hymns (mostly re-tuned) have been some of the most beneficial in this time. There is something that the old hymn writers knew of God in the midst of sorrow, pain, doubt, fear, worry, and more.

Today I turn to a hymn originally written by John Newton. Newton’s mother died when he was seven, but she had taught him the Bible at a very young age, and that proved beneficial later in life. At age 11 he started a life at sea. He was not a man of faith, but rather quite godless. He later wrote of his life of moral abandon: “I sinned with a high hand, and made it my study to tempt and seduce others.” His life at sea was not easy. At one point he was flogged as a deserter from the navy and spent 15 months living as a half-starved and poorly treated slave in Africa.

It wasn’t until later in his life at sea that Newton was converted. And it was surprisingly as he commanded a slave ship that his faith matured (which may seem a bit contradictory). Once he left the life at sea he was influenced by the Wesleys and George Whitefield and became increasingly disgusted with the slave trade and how he had taken part in it. He also became acquainted with William Cowper, a very skilled poet, but also one who knew depression all too well. I don’t know this, but I would not be surprised if the words of this hymn were influenced by his friendship with Cowper (and certainly by his own life experiences).

Take time and read through these words, listen to the music, and let the truth of God’s covenant love and grace soothe your heart. As believers we are graven on the heart of our God and he will never let us go (John 10:28). There is no safer (or more blessed) place than in the arms of our Savior and in the presence of our God.

Pensive, doubting, fearful heart,
Hear what Christ the Savior says.
Every word should joy impart,
Change thy mourning into praise.
Yes, he speaks, and speaks to thee,
May he help thee to believe!
Then thou presently wilt see,
Thou hast little cause to grieve.

"Fear thou not, nor be ashamed,
All thy sorrows soon shall end.
I who heaven and earth have framed,
Am thy husband and thy friend.
I the High and Holy One,
Israel's GOD by all adored,
As thy Savior will be known,
Thy Redeemer and thy Lord."

"For a moment I withdrew,
And thy heart was filled with pain,
But my mercies I'll renew,
Thou shalt soon rejoice again.
Though I scorn to hide my face,
Very soon my wrath shall cease.
'Tis but for a moment's space,
Ending in eternal peace."

"When my peaceful bow appears,
Painted on the watery cloud,
Its to dissipate thy fears,
Lest the earth should be o’erflowed.
'Tis an emblem too of grace,
Of my covenant love a sign.
Though the mountains leave their place,
Thou shalt be forever mine.

Thou afflicted, tempest-tossed,
Comfortless awhile thou art,
Do not think thou can be lost,
Thou art graven on my heart.
All thy walls I will repair,
Thou shalt be rebuilt anew,
And in thee it shall appear,
What a God of love can do.